I need to lose weight. I've known this for a long time. Hell, I've been overweight since kindergarten (possibly before). We didn't have a lot of money when I was young, and the presence of fresh fruits and veggies was definitely not a consistent one. Portion control wasn't really a concept that I gave a second thought until my early 20s.
I planted myself firmly in the world of denial in my 20s. "Well, yeah, I'm fat, but I'm not having any health problems becuase of it, I'm perfectly healthy, so I can just go on like this and be okay."
Yeah, right. I believed that for looooooong time. Then my grandma died, which I honestly believe wouldn't have happened at age 78 had she been taking proper care of herself. Then my knees started to hurt, then my mom had a heart attack. I've also been realizing that the more I weigh, the more introverted, quiet and agoraphobic I become. I tend to only want to go out when I have my husband or my closest and most trusted friends with me - having one of them around is like a security blanket for me. I've had a membership at the Y since March and yesterday was the first day I went, because I was too much of a chickenshit to go in by myself.
In short, it's been a really rough year for my family, a really rough year for me, and I've realized that life is way too short not to get the most enjoyment out of it.
So... Bryan and I went to the Y yesterday. I got on the treadmill for 30 minutes. 30 minutes may not sound like much, but for me it's a start.
For me, motivation does not come easily. I've done some research on motivation and have come to the realization that while health, longevity, ability to keep up with the physical demands of raising healthy children (not to mention setting a healthy example through having an active lifestyle) are VERY important to me, for some reason they're not enough to motivate me, and I need something more tangible to grab hold of. I've decided that at certain intervals, I will reward myself with things I've been thinking of doing for myself anyway, but have been putting off due to the expense - i.e., having my hair straightened (if you've seen how my hair can get when it's humid, you'll understand why that's a biggie for me), buying myself a nice piece of jewelry (if you know anything about me, you kow that I love pretty, sparkly things), treating myself to a day at the spa, etc.
Since I'm so overweight, I will most likely lose the first 50 or so pounds fairly quickly once I get started, so I've set my first reward at 75 pounds. Once I lose 75 pounds, in I go to have my hair taken care of. Squee! :)
A couple of my girlfriends have encouraged me to start scrapbooking. I haven't started yet due to the expense (due to circumstances beyond our control, we've been struggling for the last couple of months), but when I get down to it, I think I will start a scrapbook dedicated solely to this journey. I even have a couple of VERY unflattering pictures of myself to use as the first page. It will probably be pretty painful to actually scrapbook those pictures, but pictures don't lie. Those pictures may not reflect what I actually see when I look in the mirror, but they reflect what I truly look like and how other people see me.
Posted by beenie at October 14, 2006 02:44 PMKat-
I've been following the WW plan now for many years and earlier this year decided to join for real to lose some weight that wouldn't go away.
Anyway, WW 'preaches' that don't concentrate on the total number to lose. Start with 10% of your weight & once you hit that mark. Do another 10% and another 10%.
We have a man at WW on Sat. mornings that has lost 118lbs. I think he's been doing it for well over a year now (maybe close to 2-not really sure!)
I'm so glad that you started by going to the gym. That is a great first step. With me, I go to the gym (and any other forms of exercise) for the social aspect of it. :-)
Keep up the good work!
~Renee
Posted by: Renee at October 17, 2006 02:35 PMKat, if you want someone to chat with about this, let me know. I could have written this myself:
"I've also been realizing that the more I weigh, the more introverted, quiet and agoraphobic I become. I tend to only want to go out when I have my husband or my closest and most trusted friends with me - having one of them around is like a security blanket for me. "
I started to do a 365 day self-portrait "meme" of sorts, on flickr. And it's really starting to make me SEE what I am actually doing to my body, because you are right in that pictures just do not lie! When I look in the mirror I don't see what I see when I look at photos of myself. It's very strange and sad too.
the scarpbooking idea is a good one. And you will be able to clearly see your progress as the weight starts coming off and I bet that will be a lot of motivation!
I know you can, we can totally do this Kat!! I believe in you and I am so glad that Bryan is there for you!
Posted by: mel at October 29, 2006 09:26 AM30 minutes is a great start!
Posted by: J at November 1, 2006 08:47 PM30 minutes is a very good start. And as far as motivation goes, my mom lost 100 lbs a few years ago and her motivation was a picture of herself at her 20 year hs reunion (weighing about 320 lbs). She kept that posted on the fridge to keep her thinking about how she didn't want to be anymore. It really helped her a lot. Good luck, hon, and keep us posted. And come around the board more often, you're missed.
Posted by: kathy at November 26, 2006 03:27 PMHi there~linked to you from Y's site...I am so right there with you. I admire you for even going to the Y, I keep promising myself that this is the year that I need to do something to get moving and at least go walking. I tell myself that I am able to do active things with my family like go camping, etc. but I also KNOW that I would be a lot more comfortable and have a lot more fun if I lost weight...a lot of it. I hope you keep going and do well, and would love to hear more about your journey-it might help me on mine!
Posted by: baseballmom at December 31, 2006 01:58 AM