My commentary is italicized.
You know someone who went to Chaminade. Nope, sorry. I think my dad does, though.
Jones Beach Theater is the best place in the world to see a concert. CASE CLOSED! Yes, ma'am!!!
Is it just me, or is every girl from Rockville Centre a bitch? I don't know anyone from Rockville Centre.
Billy Joel said it best, "Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore." Sometimes, those are just about the only girls there are on Long Island. Every once in a while you find the opposite, or a girl who's both, but they're pretty rare.
What's the big deal about the Hamptons? Ya got me.
If you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York. I've been accused of thinking that.
You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "the City" Yep, and even though I've lived in the midwest for 6+ years, I still call it "The City" and expect people to know what I mean.
You know the Belt Parkway sucks! Yep!
You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..." Yuck.
You never realize you have an accent until you leave. Didn't really have one. I have more of a WI accent than I ever had a NY accent.
You know where at least one strip club is. I'd have to think about that.
You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island. Do solo artists count? Billy Joel, Mariah Carey, Taylor Dane...
You curse. A lot. F*ck yeah!!
Is Huntington really that cool? F*ck no!!
You've been to Utopia at least once. Huh?
The goddamn geese are everywhere! Oh my god, they're everywhere!!
If your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city. Mom was born in Brooklyn, dad was born in Queens.
At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League. Of course!
You actually remember when you felt safe swimming at Bar Beach and Hempstead Harbor. I never lived around there. But I felt safe swimming at Smith Point.
Commack movie theatre scares you. I've only been there once - I saw Titanic and bawled my eyes out.
You walk around the mall aimlessly. It's a hobby, I tell ya!!
You drive around your town with your friends, and that's the most exciting part of your evening. Yep, especially the time where we were all broke and pooled all of our change to get $2.17 in gas and the guy at the station told us to get lost because he was sick of us only getting two bucks.
On the weekend, your evening consists of seeing a movie, going bowling, or playing pool. And it was fun! I swear!
When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it becomes normal to you. It was always normal to me.
No word ends in an ER, just an AH. Heh.
You feel like you know Howard Stern. I effin' LOVE Howard!!
You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you never go there. Unfortunately, that was true. I hardly ever went b/c I never thought I'd leave LI.
When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't. Hit the nail on the head, why dontcha?
You know that the beach sucks during the day and is the most magical place in the world at night. Pretty much.
You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition. If you're on the LIE, it's at that big white hospital.
You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut. It would be nice, but I like the Port Jeff ferry.
You've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. It worked. My dad never worked in the city.
No matter what you do, you end up at the diner. So so true.
Your distant future might involve the state of Florida. I don't live on the Island anymore, so maybe not.
High school sports aren't that important. Depends on who you ask, but not like they are here.
You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve. I went once. We spent the day in NYC, but had no intention of going to Times Square. We wound up there anyway b/c all of the clubs were packed. And of course it was on the coldest NYW NY has ever seen, December 31, 1997.
You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house. *raises hand*
Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background. Oh yeah.
You love that salty smell of the ocean. I miss it tremendously.
No, you don't want mustard on that burger! It's grown on me in the last few years, but when I was there? Hell no!
The most exciting day of your summer is when all tickets to every Jones Beach show go on sale. Had I stayed there a few years longer, yes.
You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks. But, you periodically "Get the Crave" Let's just say that while there are no WCs here, it's a damn good thing you can get them at the supermarket. Gotta have 'em!!!
You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan. I'm a Mets fan.
You can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand. Mmmmmm, pizza.
You felt slighted when Snapple sold out. I missed Wendy when she was gone.
You don't associate Fire Island with gay men. Not necessarily.
You wanted Hooters to open simply to piss off "decency" groups. Of course!
You watched a game show and wondered, "why are these people so happy that they won a trip to New York?" Every once in a while. Nowadays, I'd be thrilled myself.
You like The Brothers McMullen. Great movie!!
When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" you try to figure out what places on Long Island he's talking about. Heh... yeah.
You know that parts of the Godfather were filmed on LI. Doesn't everyone?
You always liked Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel. Abso-f*ckin-lutely!!
At some point in your life, you've gone clamming. Sorry, no. But it's just about all my 9th grade Earth Science teacher did in the summer.
You've been to the Tanger Outlets and came home with nothing to show for it. Dude, I worked at the Tanger Outlet - I went there and bought nothing several times. ;) But yeah, even on a non-work day, I've shopped there and went home empty-handed.
You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville. LOL!!!
You have been to Mulcahay's on Thanksgiving Eve, the largest ladies night event of every year. No, sorry.
You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30. Hoo boy that sucked.
You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up. When I was younger, my dad and I would go to 7-Eleven, get Slurpees and sit in te car outside the fences surrounding the runway and watched the planes take off and land. My favorite time was when we were right in the flight path and one came in for a landing directly above us - it was awesome!!! Now I'm just waiting for there to be a direct flight from Madison or Milwaukee to Islip so my dad doesn't have to drive in to LaGuardia to pick us up.
Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel. Carvel was the destination after every concert (big chorus geek here).
You hate the radio commercials for the Dublin Pub. Always did, always will.
Public beach? What's that? LOL.
You can correctly pronouce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip, Islandia, Massapequa. Yeah, but it didn't help me any with the town names around here.
You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's. Pretty much.
You grew up thinking Chinese food was a basic food group. Oooooh yeah.
You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more light-up menorahs than you can shake a latka at. In fact, even your non-Jewish friends know what Matzoh is. And you've never driven more than 10 miles without seeing a temple. Mmmmmm, matzohs are yummy slathered with butter. Gefilte fish isn't bad, either. And I was raised Catholic.
Oh, your parents are from Brooklyn? So are mine! Like I said, my mom was born there.
Yes, admit it, you've cruised the Pike. No.
You can remember making up rules for “Shotgun” calls in high school. I didn't drive in high school, and neither did my friends.
Your elementary school promoted dodge ball as the top gym activity. God I hated that. But as the fat, four-eyed kid, I still distinctly remember throwing the ball that knocked out the opposing team's best player.
You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy’s. The Roy Rogers by my parents' house is still a Roy Rogers.
You consider nachos and cheese at the Coliseum to be a suitable dinner date. Why the hell not?
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Long Island. Why else do they exist but to be passed on to other Islanders?
Posted by beenie at January 14, 2005 08:13 PM