beenie

That's it!!!

I saw this posted as a comment on another blog I read (don't know if she'd want to be linked, thus no link):

There is no need for two people to separate their money and possessisons. How good is your love for one another if you can't share it all? It would be silly to share your feelings and not everything else.

Thank you, Tony, for helping me put a finger on my feelings about something I don't get in regard to one of my best friend's relationship with her husband.

They have separate money. Not one joint account to speak of. They split the bills equally. Sometimes she gets upset when he spends what she thinks is too much money, despite the fact that he makes a heck of a lot more than she does.

She truly is one of my best friends, but she needs to realize that if she's the one who wants to keep separate money, she have to respect the fact that his money, above and beyond paying "his half" of the bills and any percentage or amount you've agreed to set aside for savings/other stuff, is just that - HIS money. If you spend your leftover money as you see fit, without consulting him on your purchases, you can't deny him the same thing. It's just not fair.

I can understand the separate bedrooms thing, because not everyone can sleep well in bed with someone next to them, not to mention the "working opposite shifts" thing. And I know she's fiercely independent, but if they're not sharing everything, what are they other than roommates who have sex, a piece of paper and pretty rings?

I don't get it, but since it's not my marriage, it's probably not for me to understand, anyway. As long as it works for them...

Edited to add: just don't get mad at me when I don't 100% agree with you all the time, especially if you flat out ask me my opinion (which she has, on both accounts - asked, and gotten mad).

Posted by beenie at November 7, 2004 11:34 AM