Remember my long-time friend (10 years) who made my wedding gown? The one who expected me to arrange her transportation to and from my wedding (she's 3 hours away) because she doesn't drive, then implied that I must not want her there if I couldn't find transportation for her? (Exact words: ME: "I don't know if I'm going to be able to find someone to pick you up and bring you back on such short notice being that it's a 6-hour round trip for each." HER: "I guess that depends on how badly you want me to be there.")
My dad wound up driving up there to go get her (in his rental car), and she took Greyhound back. She was fine all that weekend, and she and a BF came to visit shortly before last Christmas - that visit went well. She called me one day in January crying - she and BF were on the verge of breaking up. We were on the phone for 2 hours, and she called me back a couple of days later and left a message on my machine saying "I thought you might like to know what's happening... call me."
A couple of days went by before I actually had the time, but then I realized that any time I hadn't called her back right away, I got a lecture on how I was a bad friend. I wasn't in the mood for that, so I didn't call. She hasn't called since.
Until yesterday.
The phone rang. I checked the caller ID, my heart went down into my stomach and I almost dropped the phone like a hot potato. I was NOT ready for that. I'm still not.
I should probably call her back, but I have no idea what to say. She's going to want to know why I haven't called her in 10 months. How the hell do you tell someone they're too needy? I am a VERY low-maintenance friend. I can pick up with someone after a year and have it be like we never left off. I don't have the time or the patience for someone who needs that kind of constant contact, and I'm NOT a phone person to start with (she doesn't have a computer, so no e-mail). In the past, she's called me just as I was going to bed and then got pissed when I try to cut the conversation short after half an hour. If I don't call her back within a day or so of her calling me, I get a lecture on how I'm a bad friend. Every conversation we've had for the last 5 years has been all her, all the time. She's never had a kind word to say about my husband. I don't have the time or energy to give to that sort of "friend"ship.
And truth be told, I'm still seething about the crap she pulled before my wedding.
Posted by beenie at November 28, 2003 03:47 PMBean,
Do you know the bottom line reason I don't talk to Jimmy (your Uncle)??
He is simply more trouble than he is worth.
He can really be a great guy but he causes me stress. Now at 38 I have had 4 mild heart attacks from stress. I simply can't afford to deal with him, or your Aunt Ede for that matter. I wish them both the best of all things but with Ede I need to limit my contact and I need to avoid any and all contact with Jimmy.
I know this sounds cold but I don't need the stress.
If this friend is causing you too much stress.... you should consider cutting your losses and sever ties. BUT, I wouldn't do it w/o talking to her. Maybe she realized she is a pain in the ass. If she starts ripping you stop her and explain that you have a job and a husband and A LIFE. Then move on with life.
Simply put a friend that is this much trouble isn't really a friend.
Just my 2 cents.
J
Posted by: /The Cool Uncle at November 28, 2003 11:41 PM