Fat kids unhappy? Who'da thunk it?
"Obesity makes children so unhealthy and miserable that their quality of life is slightly worse than children having chemotherapy to treat cancer, a new study suggests." I had an absolutely miserable childhood, though not in the way most people would think upon learning that someone had a miserable childhood. My home life wasn't too shabby, no matter how much I bitched about it. I was a fat kid. I'm a fat adult. I've struggled with depression, low self-esteem, all that crap. I even dropped out of both semesters of my last year of college because of my depression. $20,000 in student loans and no degree to show for it. So yeah, I can believe that obese children are miserable. The dress I wore for my 6th grade graduation was a size 18. I won a ton of awards at that ceremony, but I would gladly have traded them all in for a few friends.
The article speaks about BMI and how the study was done on kids with an average BMI of 34.7, and goes on to say that a person who is 5'3" would have to weigh 190 lbs to have a BMI of 34.7. Yep, that was me. Your average fat kid, LOL. I weighed 190 in the summer of 1990, when I'm guessing I was probably between 5' and 5'3" (I'm 5'5" now).
The one quote that got me saying "THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS" though was this: "The study doesn't offer any new information about why very heavy children have less fulfilling lives than their skinnier contemporaries. However, Schwimmer suspects social stigma plays a large part." Well geez, let's give this guy the Nobel freaking Prize. I believe that social stigma is one of the VERY FEW reasons fat kids are miserable. After all, if I had friends, if kids weren't teasing me, calling me names (my all-time favorite - Kath...is not...leen - cute little play on my name, huh?), doing all sorts of stuff to me because I was the fat kid who wouldn't fight back because then I'd get in trouble... all of that. I would have been a lot happier if I could have just been myself, had a few friends and not been tortured. Is that too much for a 3rd grader to ask?
I can definitely tell that my weight has played a huge (no pun intended) role in my interpersonal relationships. I had an online "relationship" with a guy when I was still in NY. He was an absolute health nut. I was quite up front about my body, and he later confessed that he had feelings for me, but was afraid to meet me for fear that he'd no longer have those feelings after he met me. I met my husband online - he fell in love with me before he ever laid eyes on me. He knew I was fat, I knew he had some meat on his bones, but we'd never seen pictures. The first time we ever laid eyes on each other was when he visited me. Most of my best girlfriends are women with whom I've solidified friendships sight unseen (not that they would have shunned me anyway - they're a fabulous bunch). I don't like to go out by myself. I'm quite self-conscious when I do go out. If I'm meeting friends at a restaurant or the movies or something, I try to make sure I'm there first so I can meet them right at the door (and don't have to walk around looking for them, therefore having everyone stare at me). I have friends that I haven't seen since I left NY that I'd love to see the next time I visit, but I probably won't because I've gained 60 lbs. since I moved here. Even though I know my friends won't think any less of me, the voice in the back of my head tells me to be ashamed.
But for some reason, no matter how healthy I try to eat, there are days where I just want a huge greasy cheeseburger, and I have one - because they say the surest way to go on a binge is to deprive yourself - but for some reason, that cheeseburger (or chocolate, or ice cream, or whatever) switches off the part of my brain that has the ability to say "okay, you had your fix, now let's start eating well again." Bryan's been trying to keep me on track, but it's not always easy for him, nor should it be his responsibility.
Posted by beenie at April 9, 2003 10:23 AM